Today Monday June 23,2008 at 5:30pm my heart was ripped wide open when Dr. Bellinghausen and I gave death to Peanut. She was a ferrel cat that came to me as a half starved kitten 16 years ago. She was slow to warm up, but turned into the biggest snuggle bunny ever. She has been amazing in her death process.When Dr. B. diagnosed her with a very aggressive tumor in her salivary gland he told me she probably would not last more than 4 to 6 weeks. I decided to make the little time we had left the best Peanut ever had. That was 4 years ago.I promised myself I would not let her suffer and keeping that promise today was the hardest thing I ever had to do. The silence in the house is deafening. Now the adjusting begins. I hope I can have the strength and wisdom to celebrate the love shared with this precious being and be kind and gentle to my self in fully experiencing the sadness and relief, as I am alone for the first time ever.